deepak. do you know who i mean? i feel funny writing his full name, but that's my intellectual skeptical voice, not the humble voice that dwells quietly inside me. 
to be humble is to grow. i always say i want peace and love and simplicity. but my intellect confuses me. my inclinations change with my body. i don't want to read the same hard intellectual misanthropic writers anymore. i don't want to think about evil politicians and exploitative business men all the time. i'm tired, bone tired, soul tired, of being grim.
i honestly don't know if i can change, yet my body changes. what goes on in my body?

...it's not true that the body is a self-enclosed object freestanding in space. your body is actually an ecology merged seamlessly into the global ecology...you've adopted a story about your body that has many fictitious elements in it. you've attached all kinds of memories, conditioning, and old hurts to the story you call your body.
...
most people have either negative core beliefs or mixed ones. as a result, they are feeding negative beliefs into their bodies or a mixture of "i feel good about myself" and "i feel bad about myself." those are the states of awareness i want to change. change your core beliefs, and your body will automatically follow. 
...
the brain faces a constant challenge from the moment you're born to keep chaos at bay. a firestorm of chemical and electrical activity in your brain cells would be useless. to impose order, the brain has evolved to have fixed pathways that are known as the default brain. this includes your automatic reflexes, ways of thinking, habitual behavior, and so on.
 
then he talks about epigenetics, how experience affects the dna and the body. i think about old age a lot lately. he writes, consciousness does not age. 
he says we are both hard-wired and soft-wired. we can change.

this is deepak. 
r. sent me this interview, and there's a course i would like to subscribe to. i would like to do the course with r. for the solstice.