i'm sorry. i once glued cut out letters on a book cover with a black and white missile saying that. for what i haven't done, for what i can't control. this is different than that. this is a different time anyway. the same words mean different things. the picture changes. i change, i don't know how exactly, i'm not the same.

i've never thought of myself as aspirational. i get short of breath. maybe i can think of my aspirations and not get afraid.