i can't keep holding onto things, feelings and things, i've held on too long and things don't last, even by themselves, doing nothing, sitting there waiting, for what, to disintegrate, to be landfill, sky-buried, burned and given away,  i can't preserve things, people and animals and plants water air and earth matter, things pass away, we have short lives, even trees, they could live so long but they can't any more. we saw a film about transhumance shepherds in switzerland, moving their sheep through the mountains with new developments and highways, how long can they last, and the sheep, they last until they're fattened up and then they're driven off, and eaten. things and beings have short lives, i have to concentrate on what matters. we're all moving even in one place, we can feel lucky to be here not under occupation or prisoners or hostages of war or forced migration and death seeking safety, we're all nomads and the earth is the only continuity, the ever- shifting place. i say to myself tonight waiting to eat—love the people and animals you live with, hold them lightly like a caress with thankfulness and meet them daily where you live.