there's always more to it. some things change. the things we can change need nurturing. i think a lot about the things i once did that were steadily hurting me. i'm thrilled by what i don't do now. that's great, and sometimes i'm thrilled with what i do do that i couldn't before, when i was hurting. i still have hurts, but i'm not hurting myself in the old ways so much anymore. i still have some hurtful habits of mind, but i want to pause daily to appreciate the changes. 

no one is going to the international house dog yard, so the grass is coming in patches. bear and i went in and she jumped real high several times and when she got the ball she went to the gate and wanted to leave. we did and the grass kept growing for our eventual return. 

i got the gentle barbarian and i think i'm going to enjoy it but i was too tired to read. now i'm hongry and the cats must be too but they're being so quiet i love them. tonight i'm going to watch max richter's sleep. 

i didn't take the long leash with bear but i think she wanted to root around in the scroungy woods by the tracks and i followed her as best as i could trying not to be too ungainly. 

it's very peaceful now. i'm still creeped out by obama encroaching but i'll deal with that on a daily basis, just witnessing, recording, commenting, not angry and hurting. i know it is what it is and i know it shall be what it shall be, and i know it's not all bad, and there may be good things coming despite how it seems. we are destroying a lot, yet there is the feeling that we are rising too, to save ourselves.