got up at 5.45 to walk r. to parking garage. it's spooky this time. the ordinary is the emergency. shall we grow back? i think i'll take the longest leash i can find this time. i want her to run faster than i. i want her to be free but i know that's me wanting to run free in her body. no matter what constraints come there will be something to aspire to then in the outside now in our head.