Sunday, November 1, 2020


the cats are cool, penny's eating as slow as jasper, and jasper's eating as fast as penny. things alternate. though the poor generally stay poor if not get poorer and the rich generally stay rich and get richer. i know the cats are not catlighting me, though cats may do that, it's only because they're trying to engage us in our own game. the point of this was before i interrupted myself, why do i get anxious about zoom talk. i don't want to get buffered. no, i don't want to talk? i put my left index finger on my lips. parasympathetic stimulation, anxiety quelling? but why should zoom talk therapy be anxiety producing? it's i who produce it, as much as breath. though breath is a composite of inner and outer reality, aka air. i was an anxious kid. i put my finger on my lips like mom did. ok i'm ready for zoom therapy, my biological clock is on full blue moon time and daylight slavings time. can i say that? it sounds dumb, we are not slaves to time, we are our own masters, but we adhere to another time than our own, and our own time is anxious, so be it, so live with it, but talk therapy is my time and my time is good time though tinged with anxious time. time is composite. time is how we compose it. it's not quite zoomtime, but i'm ready for it, i'm anxiously awaiting it. it's funny to think of getting anxious in order to quell your anxiety. hey, it may be transitional as well as biographical—familial—historical, anyhoo for me it's better than drugs or alcohol or cigarettes
 

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