it's 5.01 and i'm not done with the morning walk yet. it's taking so long for the pictures to come. maybe it's the full beaver moon in eclipse plus the wind. you feel crazy trying to act normal. she writhed in my arms but gave me a kiss for release. we had an argument and i went to feel the waves crush the beach and surge over the pier, over nothing but it's never nothing, cavernous—surge and crush and keening emptiness.