in the present struggle because the past is fraught and the future tense.
i'm not anyone's ideal including mine though my ideal is vague to the point of non-existance.
as a dog person i wasn't taught, as a person i wasn't taught, even to be a person or to learn who the person might become. i wanted to become as all beings do. i wasn't taught but i learned but i didn't learn how to teach and i learned to say i don't know i just don't know what is even real here. oh i learned some things are real and the rest is propaganda what i learned in school, the pledge of the pilgrims and the benevolent overlords.