it's a crazy world. i was gonna say that twice but that would be redundant, right. now why would the park district whitewash, or beige-wash, a sign suggesting that we wear a mask?
and the next day washing over the message of black lives matter that bleeds through purple?
you could say it's a crazy world once and leave it at that. but nobody's satisfied with that. in fact, to say that nobody's satisfied with that is the understatement of the crazy world. 
anyway i rubbed on it and it seemed the eyes showed a little clearer yet a little ghostlier. i'll try to keep picturing the layers. 
you could say there are so many layers to picture and it all gets confounded and flat.
there's a lot of what always appears to me frantic activity outside. out of nowhere they're tearing up the street, and maybe there's a plan but it's secret to the denizens. 
i was impatient in the kitchen with r. but r. said be patient with bear she's just a little dog and i started to well up with tears when i bent over to tie my blue shoes. i was more patient with the little bear, and i felt more humble and less humiliated at my lack of control. she's just a little dog, and i can remember the past struggles i've had with myself and between my self and dogs and others. and now i think i want to put a paragragh here from ed yong, let's see.

Army ants will sometimes walk in circles until they die. The workers navigate by smelling the pheromone trails of workers in front of them, while laying down pheromones for others to follow. If these trails accidentally loop back on themselves, the ants are trapped. They become a thick, swirling vortex of bodies that resembles a hurricane as viewed from space. They march endlessly until they’re felled by exhaustion or dehydration. The ants can sense no picture bigger than what’s immediately ahead. They have no coordinating force to guide them to safety. They are imprisoned by a wall of their own instincts. This phenomenon is called the death spiral. I can think of no better metaphor for the United States of America’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

the human pandemic started way way before the trumpvirus but that's just history. we have to begin again from where we are. it's crazy.