i just wanted something to be normal—stupid—normal was disaster, normal was what got us here. i ask if anything can ever be normal that exists in this scheme. normal in my mind would be pre-human, or post-human, or what the normal humans can't destroy by design. some things have to be innocent, have nothing to do with human design. this tree breathes in the pandemic clear sky. it breathes clean. it might die from poison air, when the pandemic relaxes, but today it's alive. i can be part of the tree's design, symbiotic. what i can't be part of is the normal human design. it makes me want to die sometimes.