it's strange to have the urge and forget what for what you wanted to say it's the urge that precedes, and maybe precludes, speech. it's wanting to go somewhere, when you know where you have to go and you want to go somewhere else, but in the same place, with the same dog. you, i, want renewal. 
finished the animal gazer, about rembrandt bugatti the animal sculptor. it's short yet i feel i read too fast, like it was a dream that i rushed through. what, to wake to. the white cold. i started jane goodall, it's so thick. her family made playing cards with a heart logo, good over all. ah, she was an animal gazer too. while she watched in the wild, he watched in the zoo. patience, that's what connects. that's the art and the science of art her science for his art, her art his science. read them together:they blend. it's a slow study in a world of being speedily destroyed. she said i'm too impatient, i listened impatiently. that's what connects, the impatience leading to patience. the impatience of the world growing patient for the animal. the animal gaze, slow observation. in that slowed center see the world spin. out of control. ok i go. go slow today kids. watch the world slowly.