i wrote deja jamais meaning jamais vu. always never. there was an exchange, it was neither deja or jamais. it had happened before. it wasn't the feeling of happening before, or the feeling that it had never happened when it had. it was after talking about obama's land grab. some things happened but not directly. we may remember them too. the land grabs go way back. this one is new. the land remembers. it's been grabbed and altered before, still there's a spirit of place. like the island, that was swamp before. you feel you've been there before, though it is a made place. something doesn't come from nothing but something. something is. so we feel something for nature, that predates the draining of swamps, the growing of trees, the cutting of trees, that predates us, that is memory inchoate. my head is muddled. pressure drop. i was hit by a front on the point that went right through me. but the feeling persists and it's the spirit of place conflated with dramatic change to come. it remembers, it remembers loss again. it remembers it coming.
instantly, you ever have the feeling, i'm over my head.