we walk along 
in different worlds
cagey geeky
fatiguey
military girl 


i could have did a haiku.
i could have at least have tried.
harder. 
she doesn't seem hard, she seems
soft, humiliated,
afraid.

meanwhile it takes it out of me 
anyway
so many words awayste
not like j.k. 
he takes the cake.

the way it started was simple. a girl i always see running, whose dog wants to not run and maybe even stop and talk sometime, who will not meet my eyes, well i saw her today in stylish blue grey military fatigue from head to toe, (creepy can be sexy nonononono) and boots that could crush small lives, and i may have muttered something at least with my eyes but she looked down, at the dog, at space, at her dog in her shadow, militarized space, and yet it must have registered, my surprise and my discovery, so that's it, she's cagey military. oh god i feel queasy. somehow i imagine i radiate peace. she can't look. it's not in the military code book. i always felt embarrassment. hers, and by reflex mine. i thought she was just morbid shy. but that's what a survivor said at parkland high, those rotsy geeks were strange cages. they'd get you in their sights, but they won't meet your eye. then i thought, wait, does that explain anything? does that explain why? i don't think it can be. i don't think it should be. it has to be why.