that's what i'm here to learn, about control and freedom, about how to live free in the drama. it's not that the control or the drama can be stopped perhaps but that we can have the presence of mind required to be free anyway. i'm not as subject to my father's control anymore, years after his passing. i used to apply his will to every situation so i was always confronting the ghosting machine in his ghostly guise in every person and situation. i'm still realizing this but i'm not as abject as i used to be.