sitting on the back porch with mouna. what a difference a day makes, and the slow synch flash toy camera setting. it's a weird thing scheduling the day for your dog to end the dog journey. hilde's day is saturday. we agonize when to do it. how soon is too soon and how late is too late. we don't want them to suffer, but usually they do, some, like people some go quietly in their sleep, but nobody counts on that. we can't bear to see animals suffer like we see people do. we can't put people to sleep, though in some places we can, nowadays, with compassion. anyway mouna consoled me for hilde. i want to see hilde alive, i don't really want to see her die. it was good for me to be with mister and see that he wasn't anxious and actually calm. we think animals don't know and they do. having been with mister i think hilde will be better with just family, there's no room for  more than two plus the doctor. i just want to see her one more time. thanks mouna for listening, you're a dear sweet quivery girl.