i guess grace is not a water dog, though she's supposed to be. i'd like to try to encourage her, but i don't really connect with her somehow. i may ask claud if she wants me to try tomorrow. i don't really get johnny, her dad, or claud, though, so i guess maybe i should just let it go. sometimes i've helped dogs to overcome fear and love the water. like willow, i think she's eternally grateful. but i'm sad about lily. i got her swimming last year and now i never see her here. i don't know if something happened. sometimes i fall out with people and i feel bad. it may have nothing to do with that. if we have a summer idyll and it's over it feels sad. but why? it was good that it happened, right. but i feel like i do something wrong sometimes, changing things in a distorted way.