i just realized it was dad's birthday yesterday. something was bugging me. maybe it was the old man. i googled him now for the first time. there's so much shit on the web. hooks to crook you. the web says mom's a republican, and my last name is zabilka, sorry dad. can you imagine the hell researches in the future will be? there's already a worldwide web of dis and misinformation admixed with lies and propaganda. anyway this was s'posed to be a belated birthday for my once errant belated pop. wouldn't it be cool if whatever we most wanted to do in life we could finally accomplish in heaven? and send it back to somebody worthy on earth? dad could finally write that book, but in heaven it would be free of the gravity of earthlife, it would be the inspired text of my ethereal dad. i could read it in my sleep. 
i also can imagine him dictating his memoir to me, but what would i do with it? and it might displace my own that i can't write. no, i think it's best we just fade away. what was a person becomes an event, like death, and then death becomes memory, and slowly fades away.