the thing about growing up in shame, it seems you get used to it, and you have to keep it alive with fresh infusions of new shame materia*; it's a compulsion. like a good diary. i'm just glad i didn't add guns to the admixture of shame and anger ubiquitous to growing up sensitive in a brutal culture. many of my shames might go unnoticed by anyone else, but this morning, to get to the point, i shamed myself by getting angry at the maze of fences at the bridge, and then getting annoyed with mister for hesitating. there's no shame in taking down fences that channel all the activity onto one narrow road inches away from speeding vehicles. but then i cut my foot taking down the last orange barrier and had to hustle mister to the lake to wash my shame and anger in the healing water. the good thing about shame is if it is real and result of anger at a dog say you can simply talk with dog and be real and dog will forgive and it will be ok.
if shame imbues compassion and empathy and a circle is made, it can be a good thing, and might even lighten that old erosion of partly known forgotten shame. 
wait, is this stupid? will this too shame me? ah, who cares. thing is i'm not trying to shame myself, i'm just trying to talk about shame. 

n.b.* think of shame as alchemical. as transformative, the prima materia:
it is the primitive formless base of all matter similar to chaos, the quintessence, or aether. esoteric alchemists describe the prima materia using simile, and compare it to concepts like the anima mundi. (wikipedia)

think of shame as working with chaos, in a systematized chaos. think of shame as working with control. to draw attention to areas needing attention and protection, to create safety in a dangerous flux.
anywho, shame is what we have to work with. for us, and for those who have no shame. 

one of the names assigned to the prima materia in the alchemical dictionary is water of life.

now my foot is swollen, throbbing, perhaps i will get blood poisoning and indirectly die of shame. 

i'll remember this with my footsteps. 

take care in shame and anger and danger.

take care in loving.