i got so sad this last walk tonight. sometimes i get impatient, i'm cold and tired and i want him to poop so we can go to bed. he fell a couple times today just walking, a bump in the ground, or a crack in the sidewalk and his legs might just give out. but he tries so, and he wants to do his best and i want to please find the pace we need to go the rest of the way. i know he won't be here much longer and i need to be his helper and to be glad for every minute remaining. it's so strange that i can lose sight of what is right in front of me. i have to learn how to get old, i see him one minute running and rolling and the next tumbling and confused, that's the way it is, still young in an aging body, still wanting the body's freedom to run and not feel pain, still feeling joy with the pain, and awareness that things are not the same, but we are the same, we just want to keep on, we don't know how to end.