they say third time's a charm for encouragement. i encourage lulu to reach a little higher. on the third try she gets the prize stick. it could be a number more than three, basically it just means keep trying, it could be infinity.
i was heading to get mister after the library and realized jen was getting him so went by the rock shop and it was open and this cool cat in a brown zoot suit the owner was there i know kumar talked about him but i never met him and now i got his number. he's a mason, which surprises me i don't know why. i guess i thought only masons know masons, and i didn't think a man who knows crystals and essential oils would be one. i want to get some cedar oil from him and ask him casually what it's like being a mason. i have the feeling i know nothing. why i wonder are some things always obscure to me? what makes a mystery? mystery is good, right? but secrets and opaque things may be frustrating, and maybe a little dangerous. he showed me a great dark smokey quartz and it cut my palm. i said maybe it's mine now, but maybe it said i'm staying here. i'm too much for you. it was too much anyway, 500 bones. and it was perhaps too much grounding. how much grounding does a flighty fellow need? i always thought i was rather buried already and only in dreams could i fly. i held another clear crystal and my thumb knew it directly. i tried to get it for r. but it wasn't right for her. i have trouble picking a crystal for another. each one i pick turns out to be for me. this could be my narcissism, or it could be just the way things are—maybe we need to pick our own, or have some third party, a stone dealer, pick for us. i feel like a dummy trying to give it to r. she wanted something different which i asked for but he said those go immediately and he'd have more in february. the dumb thing is trying to gift something that's meant for yourself. the other thing needs to wait. some things take their own time. you can't choose the time.