i think of k.'s no reply and wonder what it means. he's walked right by before and he's disappeared for days even when i said nothing untoward and anyway dang it all i am quite ambivalent about k. he confuses me and i think that's what gets me thinking but i don't want to simply get lost in the conundrum of k. if i go on and on i'm sorry but i really want to engage with points of light and sometimes they must come from tangles and confusion of thought or not perhaps.
so i took his number from my phone so i wouldn't be tempted to text futiley and so i could be not waiting but you see in fact i am waiting i'm just blogging to fill the time until he does or does not reply.