i've always felt that, i don't want to press my luck, and always do it anyway. always saying if i fall i need to be more philosophical. but falling needs more grace than philosophy. when i literally fall i mostly come up unscathed and grateful. ah, so, i'll stop soon for today, right now i'm just grateful to be posting, talking, to myself and you, to r., to mister who waits at home listening to classical radio, yesterday when i left he was listening to opera, today to a jig. so to anyone who'll see and listen, whether they read or no. 
when i melted down before i had looked to see what post from the past had popped up as the most viewed today- the post was from july 27, 2017, and i don't know why it was reviewed, it was something about paradise, but when i looked the image was gone, and i was going to try to replace it, and then the whole post was gone. what does it mean, perhaps nothing. at any rate it's gone now and probably won't come back. and if it does come back with a blank rectangle where the picture of paradise used to be, i will not try and replace it. i'll just let it be.