i'm superstitious about this technology. and i have fear. oh yet i think i have a certain allowance, a certain grace, born of innocence gained or regained, and cynicism lost? about some things. about my own life. not the human matrix so much. i feel i'm now finally becoming myself, though still slowly, and rather late, i'm becoming a good person. though i know well i'm still quite vulnerable to being bad. my soul's good, though it has felt like a hungry ghost often. it's not so dark and tangled and complex as i thought. that was my social malady. i thought i would never fit in. i fit in some ways, the ones that are fundamental to me. this soul wants to be simple and can savor simply good things.