hilde's going back to the doctor this morning. she had bloody poop 12 times. 
in normal times people throw so much garbage in the park, and now is the aftermath of the artfair, i hope she didn't eat something deadly. i try to stop her but she is determined, obsessed, and i can't see every moment and also play with comet. every day i say i do my best and hope. she may have got something at night last night also. i pray to life to save hilde's life to live more days, we need her, especially nicholas and comet, but she is 14, and she continues to eat like a goat. how long do goats live? anyway i've told her a thousand times you are not a goat, what the hell are you doing? i don't want to get mad but she really tries the patience. right now i send her love and hugs and comfort and a little prayer.