blind, oh blind.

today feels different outside. more people are walking around less anxious. people are getting the idea they can survive this, and an area of calm settles in and moves around. there's a different medium in the air. and the air itself is a different medium—it's clearer, cleaner. 
but then i recall how uncertain i've been about other things, like teeth, like eyes, like how blind is mister, and how long will he be alive. today my heart was thudding behind my eyes to see him trying to track me a few feet away, until he locates my voice and then gets calm again and seems to see me. i have a bag of green apple pieces, and i say mister just follow the apple trail home. when we get to the front steps he stops and won't even try, he's not confident, he's afraid. when i give him a boost he climbs pretty easily. i think of the years, and the confidence he gave me. i'm going to give it to him.