this year we want to go to the dunes or the tall grass prairie on christmas day. it's hard to opt out of tradition, but i want to. i want to do what feels right for me, not what's expected. so we'll see. last year i felt anxious and ran away to my studio and then came back to r. and this year i want to release the pressure before it erupts. if we had a different tradition growing up maybe it would only feel good around the holidays. that wasn't decreed for me. tradition was a mandatory thing. i grew to hate tradition. tradition is hard to be free of, unless you simply say i'm free, and stand with your conviction. not what's expected but what frees.