i was wanting to talk about our talk about anxiety and i was getting too hungry to think and thought i'll just sketch it in for now and the image wouldn't load making me anxious. i'm anxious about so many things i think it's kind of funny me talking about a kid's anxiety but maybe i'm the one, at least i can try, i gotta try to calm it down though. i was an anxious kid, i was too sensitive for the brute society i went to addiction and myriad distraction and mental self harm for well a long time. i don't know if i can help a kid like me who is just as self-contained a mystery, but i see the same things that make anxiety, and i see how the brute society exploits us in the same way but much worse now and i feel deeply for the kids being tortured on the border as well as the anxious here in the city and i know you can't just say get in the water kid it'll ease all the anxiety. i know you can't give out placebos for anxiety. things constellate though around nodes of anxiety and fear and if a kid can find one node of calm joy it begins there, a new constellation. we have to work within the brute chaos of this criminal society and in order to do that we have to quell the natural anxiety without drugs and self harm and with love and forgiveness and joy. i mentioned greta t. in this regard, how anxious she was and my friend says her daughter says that makes her more anxious, that she grew up trusting adults only to realize you can't trust them at all, in fact they are what are making kids machines of anxiety in the first place. pshew, this is intense. i said i hope she can come and swim with mister i know water makes her anxious too but that's sometimes where we need to be to get through anxiety. 
ok i hafta go, i may return to this who knows.