i have to marvel at the way things work, even though i'm sick and worried. the way r. found me through this page and the way i'm here with her and the cats in a building at the center of my dogs' neighborhood. if i were an outlier on my borderland boulevard my life would be so much harder, in fact it would seem impossible. though i survived sickness there, i remembered as i was turning the rear corner at vista homes nearly knocked over by the wind how going east in the freezing cold from my house the wind was always driving me backward, where i had no one to care for or to care for me but me, and where i could not stay.