this is us, but we didn't make it this far today. we just did the rain walk. mister had a spring in his step and his fluid motion. he kept looking up at me with love and i drank it in like water from heaven. i need it today. i woke up with a sore back late. i feel oppressed by the oppression of living things, by power. you can feel it, can't you, like a super-imposed atmosphere, a non-specific gravity taking the oxygen from the air, compressing life, making it hard to breathe. when i write breathe, i breathe deep. the relationship of inside and outside is a porous one, undeniably. i know i can get too caught in my inner strife, and confuse my inward life with the external. but i also know this crushing power that determines our lives has to be felt as personal. i wished for a moment again for a sanctuary somewhere outside and beyond this civilization. but i don't know how to get there, and even the thought just seems like just a story you say to yourself. if...
in the shower i thought yes, and i have love. what would it be like without love? i remember. i thought i was permanently crushed. without love we are clearly and without question doomed. and we may last a doomed lifetime. and love may not be enough. but we won't be able to start again without that one essential thing that is essentially lacking in the throes of state and corporate control. love.