i start out tired. it's only wednesday i say but i work every day and can't stop. it's not just the news, it's my soul that is unquiet, still i'm going to not look at any news for an experiment and see how i feel. i say i pick up on things anyway, that i have antennae. but i look at stuff and it does get worse and certainly we can't look at the news for hope, so, what if i can just focus on pragmatic things. on presences rather than disturbances. what if i can calm myself as i wish i could calm lulu. now i'm going to get ready to go get mister, and i'm going to go as slowly as he needs, and i'm going to try to make a silence in myself that i can live within and take on walks with me.