people are resolutely superficial, long time goes by, same questions, i haven't been keeping in touch, i haven't thought of you, is mr. getting lame, how old, and i start talking about suicide. and well, gotta go now, see you on the trail, i think it's really spring. 
i felt bad about this, amended it,

i wondered why i was chagrined. it's that i think there was connection and it was circumstantial or lost, and there's nothing to say now save the fading memory of a past season. mostly you just talk about that circumstance again, but it feels fake or superficial. 
anyway i make amends and wonder why i make guilt. and yesterday was a just tease of spring, after all. today the same place was darker with a rough north wind off the lake.