pat the birder and i spoke and i get welled up. we talk of the tiredness, she's tired of fighting for the birds, she wants to move where the birds are safe. we like olmsted but we fear a manicured garden, like the cemetary parks of olmsted's time, when people were dying off and we needed a place to remember. but it's nature now that needs those parks, and they must be wild.

allow yourself to be loved. love is there waiting for you. it's been waiting for you since the beginning of time. cactus

and i spend the remainder of my life looking at the spider in the corner of my bathroom floor. and the spider is god.

are you beautiful? i don't know.

because i see the photos i'm partially convinced i was.

true..true..children always know far more than adults, far more than they are able to tell.

dark matter xmass chorale

divest if you give a god damn.

each sacred junction they know in their blood.

exitus

happy dark

i think, when you understand blindness, you stop living in front of things. you live with them.  cactus.

my lagoon love. thinking about the empty lagoon while it's still full is thinking about death. being a dead self. being empty. imagine being nowhere, waiting to be filled.

ok kids, up and at 'em, let's make the world safe for democracy.

note to the self who orders. please get the movies she-shaman and that new isabelle huppert movie.

reactive tears.

soul

this is about the importance of touch to the lonely.

this is a lonely place.

the violent shaking of your soul hurts, but the lack of openness, of knowledge of oneself, hurts much more. andrej zulawski

the spirit of the sun moves through his fur and the spirit of the willow moves through his bones. let it continue.

today i attempted to weigh my soul, but it must have been more than mine.

we will never let you go.

weigh. a weigh.

when they're on the songline they know, they are singing, they sing like they've not just been there before, but they never left.

you are passing between dangers and fears, colo, as light passes through a mirror.  the fortune teller, cactus.

you're starting again, colo. look close by. pay strict attention to the light that grows inside. it's growing now. ibid.