so yesterday. i was feeling excited playful the bird mask cheered me i thought we can do this thing—it's kind of an adventure. today it feels like torture. i feel done in. like why don't you just kill me. it doesn't work like that, it's not so personal. if it was i could say just kill me now. but if it was i'd like to fight for life. it's just exhausting though. i can't think this way. if only i were one of the rich ones. i could go to my vacation home and wait until the herd thinned. better if i had a secret hideaway, a humble cabin on a mountain in a pine forest with a meadow and a clear clean creek. 
with my mask on it's hard to breath my glasses fog and it's hard to see and everyone scares me now they have no idea how many, so many have no health care and no money. they're as afraid of the hospital as the disease.