relationship gets existential for me. i'm a wreck alone. i'm terrified of disintegration. my house growing up was an existential nightmare. i had endless dreams of live burial. no one else, not even my brother and sister, had the same experience as me. i don't know why i am this way. we're all damaged in our own way i guess. why do i isolate? it's like a live burial, a serial repeating dream.