i guess it was my friend. friend's a loose term. are we friends? in context i guess. we only ever see or talk here, and she's usually farther on, but the waves are up again and her place is splashing. and she seems so absorbed in her book on psychology and buddhism. but there's this thing of privacy in public. and i talk either too much or too little, it's hard to find a balance and be discrete. well i almost convinced myself she was another, and we walked by a few feet away between concrete blocks and she didn't look up and nothing was said, though she did look up when me and mister entered the waves, and when we left and i looked back for mister i noticed she looked where we swam and then swung her eyes around surprised we'd passed unnoticed her absorption. i knew it was our friend then, but i knew before, when i saw her as the reader. well, yesterday we saw in the same place but opposite side of the sea wall the two girls we saw the day before who gushed over mister on spider bridge and they looked at me like a leering stranger which i can sympathize in this sick patriarchy but jeez i was the same guy with the golden angel they gushed over and when i say hi they say yeah, hi, like keep it moving, buster, and totally ignored mister. so people are strange, hey, including me, i can be moody and cagey and in my own head and i'm bloody well sick of this sick society too but come on, we have to trust the good ones and cultivate our own instinct to love and create peace. oh shit i gotta go get the pointers and i aint even et my second breakfast.