a couple times i put the leash on mister. sigh. when i went up the foot ramp i looked down and he stood there at the foot, looking around. then he started walking around the other side and when i ran back down and around he was up on the bridge looking down at me. comical really, but sad. so i put the lead on. then going back he stopped and gazed at a loner birder who has never once looked at me or mister, and then he trailed of lackadaisically following the loner birder and i caught him and lassoed him by the swamp. oh, but in between, a splendid dip, and he had no trouble following me. i get a strange sad feeling when i put the leash on. like all for naught, like i've failed him somehow, after all the free years. i feel like a jerk coercing him, a punisher. we saw a friend with a baby and i told her he doesn't have object permanence now. and she said that's what happens when you get old. he is old, and he has such poise and dignity and experience, it's hard to think he'll be going one day, it's hard to admit that now, already, he might need the lead between him and me.