i made a guava smoothie, it thickens so i can hold my glass upside down. life is a series of non sequiturs. i feel dissolute. i swallow a couple dramamills so to sleep through my itch. the fungus stays up around the clock. the fungus is nocturnal, sulks all day. i wake late, itchy. it's a dissolute day. think of going home. think there is no home. mister browses on rabbit droppings, looks up and loses me. i wave and whistle. he finds me he loses me again. keep finding, that's key. i'm grieving myself. i'm grieving love. i'm grieving mister. i'm falling apart here. i'm tired of keeping together. i'm falling ill. i'm falling apart. i'm falling into shadow. i'm falling into winter. i'm falling in my self.