i dwell too often on my struggles and i have a tendency to melodrama. i think that i have felt hopeless many times in this life, and some of my affect is throwback. this skin thing has thrown me way off. the mysterious nature of it scares me, but my feet seem to be healing, so maybe my hands will also, and my arms, and maybe my immune system will strengthen and come into balance again. i feel shame at some of the things i've written. people have helped, and i want to show thankfulness, not self-pity or despair. this is part of the process, and part of getting well.