every time this fairy circle of mushrooms appears somebody comes and breaks it. i saw it the other day whole at a distance. it's ok though. still life underground. will return. 
i was thinking about rigor in the shower. said to myself, you are not a rigorous person. as in, you don't clean up your apartment. solitude and detritus. why rigor? i think of rigor mortis. i think of still life. of things that appear above ground that live underground. until they show.
and then they disappear, and the ground is empty with presence. this morning my laptop froze in preview because i didn't clean my desktop. i want to be fresh every day but i wake tired. it's ok, right? because that's the way i am, the way this is, how it goes. and it does keep on going, right. i say to myself, bear with me, it's ok, underground and above ground, it's ok, the circle will remain.