most of what is coming through is not expressed. i always felt that with people, especially when i was a kid, maybe, starting then. i felt the adults weren't saying what they felt, and i wondered how to respond, feeling roped into a game i didn't wish to play. and i felt the kid in them, the eternal part, the soul, whatever, wanted to say without equivocation or habit of culture, just who they were, or to say they had no idea who, no clear identity, that everything fluid was fixed, and a game, that the question was who they should be.