on the way to the lake today i gave copp 1/2 a banana and said i wonder where my troll went. we got to go look and see. i was thinking about control as con-troll. what does it mean to lose your troll when you know you put your troll. well maybe my troll was not lost at all because when i looked my troll was right there, exactly where i left him, smiling enigmatically, though with the same smile as ever. at times i've lost control, and occasionally i felt a kind of sparkling magic power. trolls were first conceived as malevolent giants, then later as dwarfs and imps. by the time i came along they were happy charming conjurers who can make things, and themselves, appear and disappear. that's the kind of control i wished i had as a child growing up.