out in o.p. at my sister's i got a krishnamurti dvd and now r. sent me the link to his site and i watched and listened to him talk about fear and dreams and analysis and it was a wowawake moment. sometimes it takes a long time to find your teachers and then it seems they are simply and clearly speaking just what is on your mind. teachers help clear your mind and bring you to reality. i came across his books many times, but i needed to wander first, and to get to this place where he comes on like an light in your house that guides you home. 
and so the baby bird died, but i had juneberry pie, and hooked up with my odd little nephew, and i got krishnamurti. 
before i listened to k. i read, what if the sun thinks? a line on the theosophy site. 
then k. fear deadens the mind, makes the mind insensitive, dull. how can a mind that's afraid love? what can it know of joy except fear? will analysis free the mind from fear?
no. what we want he says is the mind looking directly free of analysis.
i felt him so clear, present in the room. 

it may be that the time is now, after unconsciousness, analysis, depression and addiction. it may be i am ready, getting ready to receive.