the question of why is still the unanswered question. we may know what we are in relation. or we may not. but why we are the way we are in the aggregate may never find answer. the aggregate feels brutal. people threaten with cars. we have a drone-like education as beyond the collapse said today, and then we launch the drones from a world far away. i feel so emotional today. i met a dog named rose and got all soft and gooey. her mom said we wanted a classic name, but she's still a hound. i said i have a soft spot for rose, where my grandmother rose was. you get caught up in other people's lives willy nilly and sometimes intently. my tailbone hurts. why is that? is it growing pains?