last night just before sleep olive was on the windowsill and then suddenly by the dresser pacing back and forth looking up. i said she's gonna jump and she jumped, landing in the tiny space between my book stack, tray of crystals, and the monster poinsettia from astrida we didn't know where to put safe from olive's curiosity, and nimbly turning around, looking up, looking down. the camera was fuzzy as if in disbelief like my eyes. we put the giant flower, poison for cats, which i had joked might give me nightmares, into the kitchen, and closed the swinging door. the kid woke me at 4:40. i shooed her away but got up at 5:30 to feed her. sorry doug, it was my stomach, that's all, it could be worse. yeah, that's one thing r. taught me. and cats.