i get a little sad after the cranes pass. i keep looking for more. the cat waking me before dawn leaves me tired. when i'm tired i get a little sad. it's so cold. my back's a little stiff. i think of what other fellow creatures are going through. i know i'm lucky. i'm reading about our disconnection from nature. it's like planned obsolescence writ large. it could be worse, it's true. i'm being here now, but we're getting to the point of no return.