are you happy now, charlie?

ha, ha, i hadn't really thought about it! i don't know!

it feels like the virus is boss now.

 

got my new rubber boots and my new laptop pooter today. the world is so fucked up it makes one finally appreciate the now without even cracking tolle eckhart. 

charlie went insane in her membrane on a bigass shepherd who coulda snapped her like a twig and i spun her like whirligig to the verge. her fear and anxiety out of the blue will make her quite angry and reckless on occasion but she did so good other than that 30 second lapse of common sense and i totally understand as i have done the exact same thing with bigass bullies on occasion in my not distant past. 

here i jumped a down tree and she had to figure her way across and she did. praise be. she got burrs but it was worth it to me and her and amanda well i think she's down with it.

colonialism is dead.  

long live the revolution. 

 transfixing as all disasters.

it's hard to imagine 

in the increasing diminishing 

this will ever be 

a park or wetland again 

it will be a dead land 

a land-theft landscape of fakery

a ninety-nine year with option perpetual ending.

some things just have to be

a burial of what was 

once breathing 

our park is buried here

obamaland is a grave site

his tower to be a headstone

a grave ghost light

in our park

buried here.

it was a lost cause from the start but a lost cause is worth more 

than a landgrab.

it was a lost cause and a good cause but a lost cause doesn't stand 

a ghost of a chance

in obombaland.

day after day, layer after layer, my loathing 

of obomba gets deeper and more 

compacted like the soil, and the park 

that lies buried seems like a dream. 

        i got seventy-six pix of obombaland and zero of my honey lulu. 

obombaland's a graveyard.

 

 the only thing i know to do is to chant to my guru.

 the crats waiting by their bowls.

 we all have the same issues. we all share the same life. may all beings live in the ease of universal heart.  

j.j. ram

after cleansing the mirror of my mind with the pollen dust of holy guru's lotus feet.

 maybe this is the afterlife. 

 death has taken the place hope once held. 

say, hi! you come to fuck me up!  you can't talk yourself out of a feeling.  it doesn't work. you can't sidestep everything. you can't defuse the feeling. let it in, let it out. don't cling to the fucker! heh-heh.  

sure as shooting, 

i abhor obomba,

but dog, 

nowhere near 

as much as i love trees.

 dear dog, it's 10:04 and i'm still abed. for the heck of it i'd like to list the sequence of things that popped through my laptop and my brain so far but i hear r. getting at the last piece of apple galap and i wonder if she'll take half or whole. will i get half or a hole. we should look for the snowy owl especially now that other one was killed on the freeway. steely dan was in the thread and a thread of itself from gabriel on the obama land theft and the displacement of people, and indigenously about the opening of the bering strait and now dorothy tennov in marginalia about limerance and nathaniel hawthorne and his ethereal child una what gets me every time is how all of what feeds in is uncannily apt in some way i could not predict nor possibly explain. but that i didn't know about limerence while it's so endemic to life that surely i did but we have to read some things we already know to realize them. 

 uncle joe biden time pardons two turkeys, peanut butter and jelly, as the traditional slaughter of millions continues — what a grand old crazy-ass country. 

saturday, the repurposed wetland park aka the obamalandgrab, 11-27-21.

if something did go terribly wrong in human history — and given the current state of the world, it's hard to deny that something did — then perhaps it began to go wrong precisely when people started losing that freedom to imagine and enact other forms of social existence, to such a degree that some now feel this particular type of freedom hardly even existed, or was or was barely exercised, for the greater part of human history.

  the dawn of everything,                                                                    conclusion.

a snowy owl was hit and killed on lake shore drive. when obama repurposes the park and widens the drive more will die.

i read neoliberalism targeted people's desires, and post-neoliberalism targets their fears. but really, the state and the market have always targeted both at the same time, making them the same thing.

      spirits have never been subject to state or market control. 

 is penny sick? idle know, but she's acting strange, and yeah she acts strange normally but that's not strange really when you know her it's just penny. she licks the shower curtain a lot and acts like she's getting tasty filaments but nothing visible and that's been for years. ok so this morning she was making noises and if you didn't know you'd think distress but she does that yowling silly hunting girl sound when one of us leaves or we watch a movie or she catches a rope snake or has a good poop. today she came in while i was lazing in bed and looked kind of blank or inward but telling me uh-oh and she was gulping and blowing bubbles. then she went under the bed and i went to see if she got into something and my shoulder bag was on the floor but she didn't get into the dog treats and i came back looking and she was in the closet where jasper goes looking rather abject but then she came out and she's just very quiet for penny which might be strange but she's not gulping nor blowing strange bubbles. r.'s birding and i sounded a small alarm in her voicemail but texted now she's snoozing on the rug by me i think p.'s ok. 👌

 i was thinking how different dogs act differently and i follow them around trying to gain their attention and whatever i get i get. i was thinking how dogs are not so obedient with me and i'm not obedient with whomever tries to school me yet if i choose to be i'm amenable which is like obedience without the coercion and i can just let go of that and play. i was thinking how i wasn't trained into obedience and rebelled anyway. it took a lot of energy and play uses a lot of energy but makes it too and feels good whereas obedience separates. i was thinking if there wasn't so much obedience and control and everyone could be themselves i wonder how it would be.

 hurons believe that our souls have other desires, which are, as it were, inborn and concealed... they believe that our soul makes these natural desires known by means of dreams, which are its language. accordingly, when these desires are accomplished, it is satisfied; but, on the contrary, if it be not what it desires, it becomes angry, and not only does not give its body the good and the happiness that it wished to procure for it, but often it also revolts against the body, causing various diseases, and even death.

up above my head i hear music in the air. the sunset lasts a whole hour, thank dog a'mighty. 

we got charlie at the ACAB squeezebox, and in the classics portal where we met essie, the fated thief of balls. 

 charlie, wood nymph. 

 charlie in a leaf nest and riding the wave of time. 

the sagittarius horoscope says you may have a global perspective today. i do. r. tells me a dinghy of smuggled refugees drowned at sea trying to reach england. the virus is still surging. i'm getting close to the end of the dawn of everything. i guess i'm still glad i can't drink and so i don't have a drinking problem if i don't. still the earthy pinot noir calls but i can answer it another way um-hum. i took paige up to the laundry room to see obama's land grab. she was shocked. i felt like a grim volunteer docent. before bed after a long day i wished i had been able to express myself better, that's the gist of it, and done some good here, but it's not over yet.

 oh i got a hangover. i dreamed i ordered a beer thinking it was complimentary like the food and it was a little glass and the tender was a joker who said a guy on plane over named skol died and said that'll be four bones. i was scrounging in my wallet and said shit to myself i can't even drink and was thinking i'll just walk away and woke up with a fake hangover and cracked the bodum glass. 

 i'm getting a little bored of the dawn of everything and still in ancient egypt but the dogs were a perfect reset and now i'm ready for food food food.