i got soulstice sad thinking about the longest day. it did seem long. it had a good duration. i only had one walk and watched five or six moodies. but why were we feeling blah on the summer solstice. because now the days are getting shorter and we're returning to the long dark, and still the juneberries are not yet ripe. and we have not been swimming. swimming with mister meant summer to me. i can't believe we have made even the water dangerous. when i cry about that i feel like the same element of harm, i feel like the water that is meant to be the water of life, sequestered in itself, in the built existence that is getting shorter by the day, that doesn't sustain the water of life. this land is hard, our land. the water is dying as it rises. i envision a planet of water where life slowly begins again. 
when i saw the picture of the sun entering stonehenge this morning i felt ancient in this now.
this feels like we're waiting and past at the same time.