whether it's the pollution index or the inhumanity, or something else entirely, my heart is heavy and it's hard to breathe.

expand and collapse. 
i feel this going on in my heart and lungs.
the pumps work harder to produce less energy, to produce more exhaust. 
it can't be endless, this perpetual motion machine, it has to wear out, has to collapse, 
has to end. 
at the beginning of the morning walk i was in the aftermath 
of watching the child concentration camps on this same screen, thinking  
can we feel the trauma of others?  
or just our own, when we see suffering does it just bring to mind our own? 
does compassion help? 
as we walked around the pond i thought,  
whatever it is, my heart is heavy and it's difficult to breathe. 
i know we aren't separate, even if we're divided and conquered. 
hate separates, suffering connects. fellow suffering is love.
even i, walking the dog and blogging myself in a high rise, and the children with no protection and blurred faces, sick and dying in incarceration, lost in america, terrified, are connected in some way. what we feel as sentient beings must be true. 
i was thinking crossing spider bridge how a bee might feel during colony collapse. 
these events we witness are not discrete. there is collective suffering. 
we're not facing collapse, we're enduring collapse. 
the pollinators, they connect everything, they are always collectively thinking
of the next generation, that will ensure our survival, and without them we die. 
i can't help but see the connection between the incarceration of children and colony collapse.