i was thinking about the relation of disgust and conscience. there's a threshold in most of us, maybe not in the sociopathic politicians and corporate thugs, and often now the threshold is submerged in cares or thwarted by propaganda, but in most regular folks, it's still in there, and i think when they see animals enduring torture in laboratories, or in free range cages, they get disgusted, just as anyone of conscience would, whether by prisoners in our torture camps, or in lab animals, or the pretense of ethically raised animals in hellish darkness and abuse and destined to be eaten. disgust raises and awakens conscience. that is why they hide the reality behind the lie. and the sad thing is even when we see the truth we quickly turn away. we got used to being lied to. we come to expect it, and anyway, we don't know what to do with truth, in a society based on corruption and manufactured reality, where we keep trying to keep afloat our sinking hearts and to hold at bay the thought that it will never stop. 
so i, little i, will feel the disgust about this alien place that i grew up stunted in, where corporations rule without conscience, where people of conscience are relentlessly lied to, where suffering and death are matters of profit, and there is no conscience in profit, nor love or wisdom, i have to let my disgust expand in conscience, in the knowledge that the only true profit is conscience, and conscience is love. constrained by the politics of hate, the abuse of innocence, and the slaughter of life, i will do my best to not despair and to commit myself to radical love.

i know, ha, it sounds like a bloody manifesto. it's really just wishful thinking.