if  i think that another person is able to listen better than i can,then the whole complicated mechanism of feeling inferior, inhibited, and blocked sets into motion. it comes with comparing ourselves with someone else. this is not something new now: it hooks into our collective past, comparing ourselves with others or being compared to others by teachers, parents, and friends. it brings up all the anxiety, pain, and hurt connected with past and present comparisons. 
that's the amazing thing about this brain- it is associative, with all its intricate neuro-physiological connections. something that is happening now, unless it is 
happening in the clarity of awareness, trails the whole past with it: feelings, emotions, reactions, and memories repressed and unrepressed.

toni packer,
the work of the moment.